


Empty Promises

by Sakusas_Lover



Series: Broken Promises, Broken Heart [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Feels, M/M, Moving On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:01:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27801205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sakusas_Lover/pseuds/Sakusas_Lover
Summary: You can't have everyone you want, promises may not always be kept.orThe aftershock of Atsumu and Kiyoomi breaking up
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi(ex), Sakusa Kiyoomi/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Series: Broken Promises, Broken Heart [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2034061
Kudos: 18





	Empty Promises

_He’s okay._

These are the two words that Kiyoomi’s been telling himself day after day for the past year, but now he thinks that he’s starting to believe them. He transferred from MSBY Jackals to the Adlers and got rid of everything Atsumu-related. Hell, he even started dating Wakatoshi, the opposite hitter for the Adlers. So really, he was okay. It took a while, but he’s finally at that point in his life where he can say he’s happy and truly mean it.

Even so, there are days where his heart feels like it’s about to shatter, and he can feel the physical pain of it. On those days he can’t stay in bed because even that reminds him of Atsumu. He can’t eat the onigiri he used to hate, he can’t go to the park, he can’t drink strawberry milk, he can’t go to the beach, he can’t do anything that reminds him of Atsumu. When he tells this to his therapist, she insists that it’s normal. _‘I mean how do you expect to weave him out of your life when he was there for 15 years. You can never unlove someone, no matter how much you may claim to hate them.’_ But how can he not hate someone who shattered him from inside out? He had to spend a year slowly putting himself back together, and even now there were still missing pieces he couldn’t find. Someone who pulled the trigger on the gun Kiyoomi trusted them with. How can he still, after all, he’s gone through, love Atsumu?

Today is one of those days. He didn’t feel it at first, getting out of bed and going through his morning routines, but then he saw a cracked vase that had managed to slip through his un-Atsumu frenzy. Memories of him and Atsumu dancing through the halls and bumping into it flooded his mind. A piece had broken off as they laughed and glued it back together. _Is this divorce the crack in my and Atsumu’s relationship? Can it be fixed if we glue it back together?_ He thought this to himself only but immediately regret it. How could he sit here thinking about Atsumu when he was clearly with Wakatoshi?

A few hours later, when he was practicing spikes with Wakatoshi and Kageyama, it hit him. While he does love Wakatoshi, I mean who couldn’t love that man, there will always be a big space in his heart, solely reserved for Atsumu. Kiyoomi thought he could just get over him. That he lived without him before and he could do it again. But the worst part of losing someone is that you can never go back to your old life now that you’ve tasted a new one. Regardless, he doesn’t think he’d drop everything and go back if Atsumu asked as he might have before.

\----------------

_He’s not okay._

These are the first three words that have been popping up in Atsumu’s mind every day for the past year. He misses Kiyoomi, and he’s not okay. After the divorce, Kiyoomi left it all behind, the apartment, the team, Osaka, him. He started dating Ushiwaka of all people. Atsumu knows that he should be happy that Kiyoomi’s moving on because that’s what he wanted right? Isn't that the whole reason he started picking fights and distancing himself in the first place? He wanted him to find someone better and move on, someone who wasn’t always chucking his insecurities onto him, but it hurts to know that he’s truly moved on.

Some days Atsumu thinks that he may have moved on too when he doesn’t see anything that reminds him of his first, and only, love. He’ll be on top of the world. On those days he can go out to a bar, hang out with his friends after practice, and sing his old favorite pop songs. Those moments always seemed short-lived once wakes up the next morning and the voice telling him he misses Kiyoomi is back.

Today it seems like everything is agreeing with the voice, the watch that Kiyoomi got him five years ago, stares at him mockingly. He never bothered to get rid of anything his ex got him, instead choosing to keep it. The items remind him of what could’ve been, had he not been such a coward, and he’s grateful for it. Now he knows what to do if he ever finds another person he’s willing to give his heart to, he’ll hold on tight and won’t let go. He won’t end things knowing he’ll regret it as he did with Omi.

“Yer such a mess, just go get ‘im back,” Osamu pleads.

“You’ve been sayin’ the same thing fer a year Samu,” he replies, holding back a laugh, because if only it was that simple. If only they didn’t both have to get their shit together.

“An’ I’ll continue to say it until ya either look happy without ‘im or grow a pair and get ‘im back Tsumu.”

“Yes yer highness,” he jokes, then turns and walks out.

The streets of Osaka are buzzing with life. Everywhere he looks, he’s somehow reminded of a curly-headed boy with adorable moles and a terrible fear of cockroaches. Remembering hurts, but Atsumu takes the pain in stride. He continues walking and fills his lungs with deep breaths of air, basking in the overwhelming scent of all different kinds of foods. There are couples and families, he slightly waves at all of them.

Every day it becomes a little easier to smile, and every day his smiles grow more genuine. One day, not anytime soon, he knows he’ll be able to look back on his days with Omi and smile. It will still hurt, and he’ll still miss him, but not as badly as he does right now. Some people are meant to stay in your life, and others are meant to stop by and leave. Somehow, Atsumu always knew that Kiyoomi was the latter. They helped each other grow but that may have been all they were meant to do. He'll always have the happy memories of the boy that made him a better person and taught him what love was, along with a soft spot for him in his heart, but he can't have him in his life. 'Don't worry, we'll always be together. Until the day we die.’ It was an empty promise, made between two boys who didn't know the hardships of the world, but it had so much meaning back then. They aren't dead, and they aren't together, but maybe this is their always.

**Author's Note:**

> I cried while writing this, I just want my babies to be happy.


End file.
